It was so good to see you all for Mother´s Day via Skype but let me tell you that had to have been the shortest 45 minutes of my life. I´m sorry if it wasn´t as exciting or fulfilling as you wanted it to be but I am grateful for the little time I did have to even just see your faces and hear your voice.
Mom is always SUPER in tune with the Spirit and her feelings of anxiety for me were well warranted. The first few days of this week were some of the most difficult, most trying days of my entire existence. By the time we had our Zone conference on Thursday I was in pieces. Part of the prelude music included the song “Count your many blessings” and I opened my Spanish Hymnbook and followed along with the words. The translation is different but I remember having the words “Prayer will change the night to day. So when life gets dark and dreary, don´t forget to pray” stand out in my head. I listened intently to the conference and prayed continually in my heart but the longer I sat there the worse it way. I sobbed through the last hour and then couldn’t stop crying even when I shook my Mission President´s hard. He asked me if I was okay and all I could do is shake my head no as I walked away. He then called out to me one word – “Patience.” When we got back to the house my companion broke the news. She received the answer her prayer and she will be going home as soon as her luggage arrives from her last area. We had a LONG talk about what was going to change and she said she was recommitted to being obedient. To say that the night changed to day would be an understatement. Our days are a lot better and it is teaching me a lot of lessons. Personal obedience brings the Spirit. It affects you but it also has a huge effect on those around you. Communication is key – I don´t know why I couldn´t communicate some of the things I did in that talk to her before but we finally clarified some misunderstandings. In general we are a lot happier. I still have a lot of things to work on but I am trying to apply my mission President´s advice and really have patience. Not only to have patience but to do as President Utchdorf advised and to find joy in the journey.
Among other things, one of the blessings of this week was finishing the Book of Mormon. It´s the first time I´ve read it all the way through and I´m already looking forward to my next read. My studies of the Book of Mormon have been rich with insights from the Spirit about eternal truths and personalized sermons. What a tremendous blessing! While I was reading in Ether I came across a phrase I recognized from another scripture. I recalled a time when someone had shared with me this scripture and went back to investigate. The phrase brought me to 1 Nephi 3:27 (YES, 27 NOT 7). “And it came to pass that we fled into the wilderness and the servants of Laban did not overtake us, and we hid ourselves in the cavity of a rock”. If you replace the last part with “our rock with is Jesus Christ” the scripture can take on a very special meaning. I always loved this and the message that it illustrates. When we take refuge in CHRIST, our enemies will not overtake us. A cavity is an unfilled space with a mass or a hollow place. It is interesting to me how close those words hollow and hallow (the latter meaning consecrate) are. So my question is, what is the hallow (or hallow) place of Christ in which we can take refuge? I think there are many of them and they don´t necessarily have to be physical either. I´d love to hear your insights.
I love you all so dearly. Thank you so much for your prayers. As these changes are occurring with my companion, with a potentially new area, and who knows what else, I hope to be able to continue to apply what I have learned, always drawing on the Atonement.
Les amo mucho